New Blog

I have a new blog. Go to

http://adamsnewestblog.blogspot.com/

to see it. I didnt want to kill this one because I like the title. If my next job generates a significant amount of angst then maybe this blog will be used agian.

The System is an Illusion

In my time at DFCS I have met many people who refer to "the system," to getting lost in it, to how it doesnt work. I think this is because it doesnt exist. The System is no more than a construct of our minds. What is ussually referred to when people talk about the system is simply people working together. In GA this community of people working together is formally called DFCS when it pertains to families and children.

Calling DFCS (and those it works with) "the system" presents several difficulties. Primarily is continues to dehumanize those involved in it. It also assumes that DFCS works together with its colleages in an organized manner, and that everyone is working toward the same goal or with the same rules.

We who work in the system already feel dehumanized enough just by what we do. It is an unfortuate part of the job. there must be some distance between the worker and the client. It just has to be there if one is going to do the job. That does not releive the worker of his/her responsiblity to act as an individual with their own independant ability to make decisions and judgements. As much as the worker has the responsibility to remain detached from the client, the worker also has a responsibility to make natural human decisions and to keep in mind that the client is a real live person as well. To hear DFCS described as part of the system only reinforces the idea that the worker is not human but only a peice of machinery. When one is not human the imperative to behave humanly is lifted.

The question must also be asked of who is a part of the system. Obviously the state agency is the core of the system. The state agency probably has the strictest and most encompassing pollicy. The state agency also feels that greatest burden of liability and has the most accontability in the state office structre. State agency is definitly included but what about the courts, group homes, foster parents, CASA volunteers, charitable organizations, attorneys and research groups. Who is and who is not part of the system.

Just some thoughts, there may be more of this in the DFCS cool down period. Maybe not.

IT IS FINISHED

So thats it then. Friday was my last day at the office.

Im going to miss the people I worked with. There are a lot of great people at my office and in a lot of the group homes that I have worked with. I regret that I spent two years getting used the navigating the system and the people in it and now im leaving and done with all that. I feel that at the end of my time I was good at what I did only because I knew how to fulfill all the requirements and get the right things done on time. I also knew how to differentiate between what needed to be done now and what could wait. This was the most important thing for a case manager to master in the job.

At least with me the people skills were there and just needed the right space to come out. There were things that needed to be done and I did them. I used to say that I wasnt a people person. I wouldnt really say anything right now. I do what must be done, in the work or personal world.

So what am I to do now? I really wouldnt mind a job that is a little less personally destructive. Working for DFCS was so thoroughly draining. At the end of the day I would just want to go home and collapse. I've watched a lot of netflixes over the past two years. There were many times when I couldnt do anything after work because I was just two tired to meet new people and be social.

I imagine that the nature of this blog is going to change. Maybe ill use it to continue to think about DFCS. Wait i dont know that I want to continue to think about DFCS.

The Countdown

The countdown continues.  I have now turned in my resignation for the 11th.  I guess ill have to change the name of this blog when i leave DFCS.

The weeks continue to be stressful.  I want to get everything done and cleaned up but know that it is not really a possiblity.  really then what do I keep working for?  this next week it will be my goal to get all contacts done and all my files filed and up to date.  they want me to have all my august conatacts up to date as well.  i make no promises except that I will keep working until the day i leave.  i dont know what they are going to do with reassigning though.  the new staff are not going to be ready by then.  not that they cant handle it but they wont be certified by then and wont be able to do the necessary things to write up contacts and stuff.  speaking of the new staff number one looks good, like she can handle it.  She's done similar work for another state agency.  Number two though has shown signs of cracking already.  Handling stress is a big part of the job.  Everyone has their trying experience and then its done and you know that nothing can possibly be worse.  Its a powerful feeling.  Ahh well, they'll work out or they wont.  Either way the agency will deal with it.  Thats the fun part for me, the kind of problem solving you have to do when things get rough.  Its stressful but its also fun, pushes the boundaries.  Its a challenge.  Other than that the job is kinda slack in the challenge department.

Well since I called the post the countdown, I had better give the countdown:  13 working days to go.

If you ever!

Man the job is really getting to me.  I am planning now for August 18th to be my last day.  I think i hope I can make it that long.  The last week was one of the most raw stressful weeks I have experienced in some time.  Why, you ask?  

It had to be a combination of little and not so little things:  

Julie is in Africa
I am getting over a cold
End of the month deadlines
I am trying to get more done before I leave than I have been able to do in the past
Several emergencies
Not meeting end of the month deadlines
Julie is in Africa
Several "emergencies" (things that clients think are emergencies but are really not)
More CMs are quitting
Other people are stressed out
Feeling traped in my job
Not laughing as much
Not laughing as much with Julie

I think thats about it

Ive been a bad Blogger

It looks like ive been a bad blogger.  Its been quite a while since I did an entry of substantial writing.  I havent done much of any kind of writing if it makes you feel better.  but now that Julie's away ------(check out Julie's blog)------->  I seem to have a bit more time on my hands.  We get to talk a few times a week.  Which is more than i expected.  I am amazed every time how clear the call is as well, it sounds likes she's right around the corner.

But of course, Julie is far away.  Its been a bit harder on me than I had imagined.  I had expected to be continually worried about her, thats not the case.  The hard part is not worry but that she is having an experience that is entirely foreign to me.  Not only going to Africa, but traveling alone.  Culture shock and all that.  Shre have never been there, Africa or culture shock.  So im trying to wrap my mind around that right now, trying to figure the best way to relate and the best way to help her get the most out of it.

Meanwhile, back at the bat cave, same old bat business.  And by bat business I mean, of course, DFCS.  Not much changes.  Well recently I have been put in a difficult position.  I have been asked to move some kids that really dont need moving.  Reason for the move is so that the state can pay for the placement out of a different budget.  Some research has shown that a significant move once connections have developed can set a child back as much as a year developmentally.  Policy tells us to avoid moves if at all possible, I looked up the referrences just in case I needed them.  What really bothers me is the change in the adminstration's priority from children's best interests to what is convenient for the state.  My priorities have not changed.  Might just have to give them the nay-no.

Engaged!

DSC_0209.JPG
Originally uploaded by ajdele.

So the rumors are true, we're getting married! This picture is from a few minutes after I asked her.