Wedding Day

Another wedding today. Oh yes, it was very nice. Everything went according to plan. I was pleasantly suprised to not get the my-life-sucks-feeling. I think I am becoming a bit numb to it. Is that a good or bad thing?

Oh I See!

I have a rare talent. I have found myself able to find the worst landlords in town. This is number two and she is crazy. She took away our trash cans! Who the hell is going to withhold trash cans as a punishment?! As if we were three years old. "Well, little boy, I can see that you are not old enough to enjoy the luxury of my large trash cans so I am going to take them from you until you can prove yourself worthy." What the hell is that?! I deal with all kinds of people's real life shit for a living, the last thing I need is to come home and find that my damn landlord has taken it upon herself to school me in the ways of trash can etiquette. There is also the leaky bathroom faucet and the lack of parking, but the trash cans are the most ridiculous. My neighbor has it worse than I do though. He and his wife have two vehicles, landlord hit his honda once already and had it repaired. Now, her maintenance man scratched it and she is refusing to pay for it or acknowledge responsibility. And, get this, she threatened to evict him today. I am betting the notice will come written on a shoney's napkin.

I've got to get out of this place. The whole thing is suffocating me. I'm not just talking about the apartment situation, that only makes it worse. My life right now is leaving much to be desired. I am aware that if I am not content now, there is no external fact of my circumstances that could change and fix everything. I know that. Maybe a better way to put it is to say that I can see so much unrealized potential. With my photography, with my relationships, with my travel. It feels like there is so much at my fingertips but I do not have the facilities to use it. I am broken. Not in the cute Christian sense that carries an image of being shattered, like a mirror. No, I am whole, complete in Christ. I just dont work. Its like he has put me together, and for whatever reason, left out some necessary components. So that when I try to perform some ordinary actions I find that I do not have the capacity to do it.

I am Batman

oh man my job is so crazy. i work in foster care not as a foster parent but as a case manager. Right now I have responsibility for 29 children in the care of the state. this is crazy, so many demands. Each of those cases have a world of concerns that all need to be managed and dealt with at once. Really Im tired of complaining about it but the problem is I dont have a life apart from it. Need to do something about that. I really hope this blog doesnt become a place for me to complain and thats it.

Ok really

I have a few friends who are really into blogging and I have to admit, though not yet to them, that I am intrigued. I do not yet know what I will use this for. Does everything really have to have a purpose though? Whatever happened to doing something just to do it? I am reading "Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" right now. Net exactly what I expected, right now its all about epistemology, which I am over. Just not concerned with those kind of thoughts right now. Im in too much of an existential crisis of my own to care about epistemology. Yes, of course, I know its all related....anyway, he talks about taking a trip on a bike just to take a trip. Maybe I need to get a bike. Who in the hell would read this. I dont even want to go back and re-read it. I definitely wont. If you have just read this then I wholeheartedly apologize.

Begining

I've heard that the begining is a very delicate time.....such pressure....cant handle it.....run away!