Such a thing as purpose

Does anyone else ever get the feeling that the answers are there just beyond your reach? My current big question is for my future. I would just love for it all to make sense right now. All of the jagged pieces of my interests and acquaintances need to come together into one unified whole. And I feel as if that unifying theme is almost there, just beyond my grasp.

Maybe I am chasing a ghost. Maybe there is no unifying theme. Perhaps my clever images are all just shit and a person's life cannot be figured like that. I do know that I am getting tired of feeling crippled when it comes to my purpose. What if there is no purpose and that one thing I am searching for is a true illusion.

I am becoming duller with time. Those things that I had begun to cultivate in OB and camp, the adventure recreation kind of spirit, is slipping away from me. Maybe the reason I always sound depressed when people ask me how work is (or when I write things like this) is because I dont have a feeling of purpose. I am really not depressed, at least I dont think I am.