Tanya the Actor

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Originally uploaded by ajdele.

My friend Tanya wanted me to do some headshots for her. Since I dont know how to do real live headshots we just took some pictures. My flickr page has some more, and some that did not make the ... uhh, serious head shot criteria.

Savannah Hotel

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Originally uploaded by ajdele.

The view from my hotel in Savannah, sort of...

The Finer Things

i have found that I have trouble enjoying nice things. Right now I am staying at the DoubleTree in Savannah, Ga. If you are not familiar with that particular establishment, it is NICE. I mean breakfast room service included, valet parking mandatory, the biggest and softest bed I have ever stayed in. And all paid for by the great state of Georgia. I keep feeling like its too much and I feel bad about it. Same is true of my new apartment. I am coming from $300 a month and a giant hole in the bathtub to a good bit more rent but a lot nicer. It has tanning facilities. Did you catch that, a tanning bed, in my apartment place. What the hell. who needs that? I sure dont and I feel bad for paying all that for these things I dont need. I really dont need much. I had quite gotten used to the hole in the bathtub. And here they pay for dinner and we have a tendency to use all that money. Again I feel bad being a big spender. I feel most at home in a tent.

Protection

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Originally uploaded by ajdele.

I think what attracts me to this picture is the conservation of colors, and the contrast of orange on white. Oh yeah and the texture. I had not ever considered conservation of color a strength in photos but now that I think back it is a characteristic of many of my favorite images and it makes sense. Im trying to look for this when I am shooting now.

THE GREATEST THING EVER!!!

oh man i just saw the greatest thing ever on tv. its about 1 in the morning, Dave and I are watching wrestling. a child was just removed from the wrestling stage thing by DFCS. Two fathers were arguing over who was the real family like wrestlers argue, all dramatic like and stuff. all the while there is this respectably dressed lady on the stage with a clipboard listening to it all. the child is hugging another woman all buried between her breasts looking distressed. the fathers argue and agree that the custody of the child will be determined at summerslam. then the DFCS lady says, this is crazy, this child will have to go into foster care. and the she leads the child away while all the parents cry on stage. hahahah!! isnt that great?! this is what my clients know about DFCS, we are the people who get in the way of parents who want to wrestle for the welfare of their children. and the best thing of all is that this whole situation is not all that farfetched. there actually are some parents out there who would consider wrestling for their children a possibilty. ok well that doesnt sound quite as great when i write it out as it was on screen

Where did anyone look for meaning before the internet?

Man what have I don to find myself in this possition? How many times a day to I tell myself that I have to get out of this place? I just had a friend tell me that God has me here for a reason. I dont know what to think of this. I cannot see a reason. I cannot see a purpose in the pattern of my life right now. For that matter I cannot feel or hear God much anymore. I had thought, and it made sense, that he might change the way he leads according to one's needs. There was a time when I needed direct leading, now that has changed, perhaps. Or perhaps I ignored some leading back down the line and now have gotten myself so far out of tune that I could not hear him even shouting. I wouldnt put it past myself. Never mind me, im just being dramatic.

Incomming!

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Originally uploaded by ajdele.

From my short stint at camp this year, fun stuff. All kinds of interesting things happen at camp.

Lighted Path

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Originally uploaded by ajdele.

This is in chattanooga at night. A lot of my experimenting pictures have been with light at night. I think i need to start using a tripod.

conflict

i have been in conflict about what do to with myself. I feel a great draw back to Arizona. I dont know that I am ready to go there without a way to support myself. I feel like I need to work on the border. I would love to take pictures there and show everyone I can what is happening there. If you want a shock check this out: http://derechoshumanosaz.net/deaths.htm. Its a list of those who have died on the border with causes of death, where it was ascertainable. I was shocked and suprised at the number of gunshot wounds and car accidents. For those who dont know it is a practice of the Border Patrol and others to chase vehicles carrying undocumented migrants faster and faster until it looses control and rolls. Killing or injuring those inside. These things are happening in the United States. I would like to think that it continues because the majority of Americans do not know about it. That needs to change.

habit

Man I havent done this in a while. I cant say that I got out of the habit because I never really got into it. Things that have been on my mind lately:

Apartment - time to get a new place. Im looking at a place that is a whole heck of a lot nicer than my place right now, its closer to work, and has all the ammenities in the world. But its about 50% more expensive, on the third floor and has a 12 month lease that I cant break. I put a security deposit on it but can still back out. The thing that really bothers me is locking myself into a 12 month deal. I also dont really like putting a whole lot of money into my living space, I dont need much after all.

Job - yeah its been a year now. im up for a raise (it happens automatically after a year). im not entirely sold on staying there. its alright but .... no, i have a good job and i work with good people. child welfare is not what I want to do forever. there is actually the possibility of moving to a DJJ position. not that large a posibility.

General permanency - ive been thinking that im not cool with living in the south. hah i guess that was a pun. its just damn hot in the summer. i like seasons, you know snow in the winter and then warmpth in the summer. not crazy hot humidity. and then there are not many places to push my photography here.

dinner time, gotta go.